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Jewish Mother:
“Hello?”
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Daughter:
“Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?”
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Jewish Mother:
“You’re going out?”
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Daughter:
“Yes.”
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Jewish Mother:
“With whom?”
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Daughter:
“With a friend”
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Jewish Mother:
“I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.”
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Daughter:
“I didn’t leave him. He left me! ”
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Jewish Mother:
“You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.”
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Daughter:
“I do not go out with anybody.Can I bring over the kids? ”
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Jewish Mother:
“I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.”
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Daughter:
“There are lots of things that you did, and I don’t.”
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Jewish Mother:
“What are you hinting at? ”
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Daughter:
“Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.”
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Jewish Mother:
“You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?”
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Daughter:
“My EX husband. I don’t think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!”
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Jewish Mother:
“So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place?”
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Daughter:
“He’s not a loser.”
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Jewish Mother:
“A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.”
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Daughter:
“I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not? ”
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Jewish Mother:
“Poor children with such a mother.”
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Daughter:
“Such a what?”
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Jewish Mother:
“With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.”
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Daughter:
“ENOUGH!!! ”
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Jewish Mother:
“Don’t scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too! ”
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Daughter:
“Now you’re worried about the loser? ”
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Jewish Mother:
“Ah, so you see he’s a loser. I spotted him immediately.”
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Daughter:
“Goodbye, mother.”
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Jewish Mother:
“Wait! Don’t hang up! When are you bringing them over?
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Daughter:
“I’m not bringing them over! I’m not going out!”
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Jewish Mother:
“If you never go out, how do expect to meet anyone?
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